Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Duke Freshman Porn Star Article

Duke Freshman Porn Star Article

http://www.xojane.com/sex/duke-university-freshman-porn-star

This article REALLY resonated with me this morning so I had to write about it.  I would love to meet this young lady. This young lady was "outed" by a male student at Duke for working in the Adult Entertainment business. The news of course spread quickly throughout campus and of course now she bares the ever so famous “Scarlett Letter”.  

I commend this young woman for speaking out. I also think she should not hide her face from the general public but be proud of who she is yet I understand for her safety why she does need to.  What this young lady has to say is something we all need to really think about. 

Her points are strong, valid, shedding light as to how female sexuality is perceived in our patriarchal society. Early on she writes, "My entire life, I have, along with millions of other girls, been told that sex is a degrading and shameful act."

This is so beyond the truth, every woman and I mean every woman can think back to a time in her upbringing where she was told to “save” herself because no man will want her if she is used goods, or my personal favorite being told “why by the cow if you can get the milk for free.”  I can’t help but to think WTH are we telling our young ladies. Their “soul” value will be lost if she allows a man to penetrate her? Chances are she will not be loved otherwise? Lately, I have been looking around at HOW much emphasis is put on women to be “the right type of lady” to “catch a great man a Godly man”.  Hmmm can we really be that frigging dumb as a society telling our girls this baloney?  YES…because we live in a man’s world where for centuries women have been “compartmentalized” by men…men know what I mean by this; you have your HOT chick “Marilyn Monroe” then your obedient, loyal chick “Jacqueline Kennedy”.  Mothers fear their daughters being “used” by this world so it’s best to go along with the shaming as well to “protect” our daughters from being “compartmentalized” in the “shameful box” the “wrong box”. Let me add as a mother, if that supposed great man, is going to be that shallow to not see daughter’s value as a whole person then that man is not worth HER love AND THAT is what we need to be drilling into our daughters, that their worth goes beyond their virginity, their lives purpose goes beyond who they are as a sexual being as such this young lady who was being interviewed here.  Her chosen career path is just that HER CHOICE and she is not “less than” because of it.  One commenter compared her choice as to that of a drug dealer, as if her feminine sexuality and how she chooses to use it is THAT BAD.  Here’s a concept, don’t watch, after all its your belief  system that is telling you what she is doing is THAT BAD not hers and your job is NOT TO SAVE HER BUT LOVE HER as a brother or sister, if you feel in your belief system while you  are showing her love and respect you pray for her.  That’s it. It’s that simple. You don’t bash, yell, scream nor point your finger to make your point.

Bottom line the promiscuous woman is a threat to the patriarchal world we live in. She is beautiful, smart, and unpredictable; she usually knows at a young age that there are PLENTY of fish in the sea.  She is typically at battle with how she feels internally because she is comfortable in her sexuality but slut shammed as a whore by society.  Some are strong enough to bare the “letter” others such a Marilyn are not. Women were burnt at the stake many years ago; called witches because they thought independently from man’s beliefs. Today they are cyber bullied, harassed, ostracized because of others inflicting their own beliefs onto these women’s lives.  

As she states, in the article "It terrifies us to even fathom that a woman could take ownership of her body. We deem to keep women in a place where they are subjected to male sexuality. We seek to rob them of their choice and of their autonomy. We want to oppress them and keep them dependent on the patriarchy."


Here’s the thing "I get it"  from those that take the religious stand point “remaining pure in its essence”.  Women like this young lady challenge our belief systems BUT God loves ALL of us. Our value with him does not decrease because we sin IF it did what was Jesus sent for?  We need to treat each other with respect and love. NOT hate. Hate should never be an option. We need to STOP the shamming. We need to teach our sons our men to respect women the REAL meaning of respect and respect ALL women regardless of; size, age, race, or how many sex partners she has had, or what she chooses to do for a living.  She is here on earth for a reason a purpose beyond her crotch and THEY need to learn to respect that JUST AS THE ANIMALS DO IN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM…SHEEEESH…

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Orgasm The Full Body Work Out

TML...Turn Me Loose Fitness
Orgasm the Full Body Workout
Cassandra Wycko: Posted on Tuesday, February 18, 2014 9:59 AM

        Recently, I had a discussion with a lady in the fitness industry who told me that human sexuality, sexual behavior and me promoting sex toys for women was in no way related to women’s overall health and or fitness.    Being a 40 year old woman, sexually experienced at 40, has lived a life with body image issues and being so fine-tuned with her body, (as most my age are) who can tell any given month which ovary the egg is dropping from I do know otherwise. 
      Before getting to the Big O let me address a point; like weight loss the Sex Toy industry is a "billion" dollar industry geared primarily towards women.   Dildo’s, vibrators, body massagers from all price ranges, sizes, shapes, etc…all geared to help induce ORGASM The Big "O" which is not a dirty, sinful, thing. Orgasm is an amazing phenomena of the human body that engages numerous muscles at once, glands, thousands of nerves and the brain (see bottom extras for more on that).  In fact when a female has an ORGASM do you know what happens, besides that amazing wave of sensations?  Her vaginal muscles CONTRACT powerful squeeze & release sensations that come in waves, rolls, wait…rewind…muscles contract…hmmmm not related to our overall fitness? Why ladies do we believe this? Could it because we can’t see results in the mirror or on the scale? Something to think about here. What are we being told on a whole in regards to our bodies these days?
     When a woman is not on her period and is ovulating these contractions naturally work in a strong “suck in and squeezing” motion that can rival any bicep flex or vice at a hardware store for that matter. Experts speculate this vacuum effect as Mother Natures “Plan A” helping to ensure semen is “pulled up and in" so her eggs become fertilized for procreation of the human race hmmm again nothing to do with overall wellness..creating life..nahhh. 
     Ok…well here’s another ladies, fascinating more so,  in majority of cases during  mensuration if that same woman were to orgasm these muscle contractions work in the “REVERSE” direction pushing out and releasing as nature’s way of “cleansing”. Is your head spinning yet? Mine is. Our body does all this. Mother Nature....as Miss Chante would say, "you better wurrrrk".
     Furthermore, those kegels we hear so much about, from popular magazines whose headlines rave every month “For Greater Sex do These Subtle Lil Exercises….Enhance His Pleasure Own Your Love Muscle….” Most of us have heard the news 1000x over do your kegels to strengthen your PC muscles.  What exactly are the PC muscles and what does this really mean?  
     Oh wait muscles, again with the muscles, how is the possible no shredded lines to show my progress, no inches reduced, or mass gained. Heaven forbid I can’t see results therefore it's "physical condition", "fitness of" must not exists.  
     Ohhh but they do and they do so much more then those cute little headlines tell us. PC muscles are a group of muscles that attach the pubic bone to the tailbone at the end of the spine which SUPPORT your vagina, urethra, bladder, & rectum.   Kegel exercises tighten  ensuring that the vagina, bladder urethra and rectum don’t SAGGGG ladies S.A.G should no way be put in the same sentence with vagina.  Let that one resonate for a moment ladies…and start thinking about all those miles on the treadmill, all the plyometrics, the weights you use to strengthen your muscles, you know the ones that you can look in the mirror and SEE the results; resistance bands all the lil “gadets” and equipment we use daily at the gym….NOW see the correlation? 
    In my screaming HELLO voice #1 G-R-A-V-I-T-Y…#2 Sex toys are TOOLS used to enhance ones sex life, build intimacy in relationships and lastly to PROMOTE ORGASM…which my lovely’s, has everything to do with your OVERALL physical well being, vaginal health is PART of your health, SEXUAL wellness is PART of your health, your body image effects your SEXUAL health and relationships which is part of your OVERALL health and wellness. 
     When told that I am taking away from the physical fitness element by bringing sexual education and wellness to the table nothing can be farther from the truth. I am educating and promoting overall women’s health. Gyms, diet centers, uniformed fitness enthusiasts, and media has programmed us to focus only on what the eye can see.
    I see Sara is 120 pounds she is 5’7 exercises daily is 23, fit, toned, models, but has never had one real orgasm in her life, has yet to ever explore her own body & the thought alone arises guilt and shame.  She is a stranger living within herself. I see Sara at 27 she has a child, goes back to her fitness regime but is perplexed that when she jumps she’s got leakage, in fact she can’t sneeze without being fearful of a wet spot.  Sex with her husband worries her since things haven't felt as "snug" down there and sensation is just different then before.  She still has not taken the time to "learn" her body, what feels good to her so she is unable to communicate her needs and desires with him.  
     But hey, she’s still only 27, still 5’7, she is activate and looks better then she did pre pregnancy because she works out 2x a day, has a trainer, eats clean, watches her micro & macro nutrients, she is on point in all areas of her "physical fitness"……or is she???

Extra reading http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/human-biology/brain-during-orgasm1.htm
Extra How Orgasms Work
by Cristen Conger
Sexual excitement in the brain stimulates increased blood flow to the genitals, engorging the penis in men and enlarging and lubricating the clitoris and labia inwomen. Pulses quicken, and the elevated heartbeats are heard in more intensive inhalations. Central nervous systems fully engage, directing messages of escalating enjoyment along the pelvic, pudendal and hypogastric nerve endings in the genital regions back to the brain's reward system and vice versa during plateau [source: Nuzzo]. This full-body workout then crests with a series of pelvic, cervical and anal muscle contractions in 0.8-second increments that correspond with orgasmic sensations and ejaculation [source: Elliott]. Deep relaxation and resolution typically follow as muscles relax and heart rates slow to a resting pace.