While web researching tonight I stumbled across many blogs and articles relating to body image issues and eating disorders. These articles focused on the two most well known of disorders Anorexia and Bulimia. From personal experience alone I know there are many people, self included, struggling with neither of the two BUT may get caught up in a cycle somewhere in between.
Food & body image issues have always had tremendous power over my life whether I was 234 pounds and obese or 147 pounds and fit. When people come to me and tell me I don't know what alcohol or drug addition feels like I can confidently say bulls***. Obesity and eating disorders KILL just as much as other addictions, it may be a slower kill but if not taken seriously can destroy life just as well.
Food has developed its own identity in my life, a split personality occupying the depths of my psyche. I don't mean in the way of obsessing on "what to eat" like some would imagine. I don't think most people with eating disorders sit around obsessing on eating that piece of cake, ice cream etc...its almost the opposite having more of a mental confusion effect of what we can and can't eat, should or shouldn't' and EVERYTHING that goes into our mouths we shame ourselves for afterwards only to feel guilty later.
At points in my life I've completely disagreed with programs that focus on "counting" because of the focus and power they give to the food. I believe doing so at a young age imbedded in my brain"counting" everything as second nature as I do today. Realistically as a fitness enthusiast and trainer I do know this method has been successful to many but for me probably was not the best method. That is why with my clients I like to focus more so on "movement" getting up and moving period!
About 2 weeks ago my family and I were at Home Goods and I walked past what I thought was "funhouse skinny" mirror. I loved the way I looked yet gaining about 50 pds since opening TML I am by no means societies standard of "skinny". Regardless I still caught a glimpse and thought WOW when I saw myself "if only I really looked like this, I need this mirror". Then I called my husband & daughter over and said "hey look how good this mirror makes me look" they both looked at each other a little startled and said "ummm that is the way you look!" I refused to believe them. I made both of them step in front of the mirror. Those that know me know I didn't stop there LOL. Yes I called a store worker over and asked her if the mirror was a fun house mirror then insisted she too to step in front of the mirror as well, you can imagine how she looked at me.
I have a problem, I know this, I've met plenty of women that battle the same or similiar issues with little information out there other then labeling us with "lack of discipline" as we Yo Yo up and down. I've also heard of people that have the opposite issue. Delta Burke I can remember once saying she had the opposite of anorexia while gaining her weight she saw herself as much thinner when she looked in the mirror but obvious to others and media that was clearly not the case. I've been there as well and woke up to my surprise asking how did this happen AGAIN! Unfortunately, there are A LOT of us out there. My goal is to get the information I need to help myself as well as those I know and work with personally.
Cassandra Wycko
TML...Turn Me Loose Fitness LLC
www.tmlfitnessinfo.com
tmlfitness@gmail.com
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